My stress level has been pretty high
over the past few weeks...with dealing with my plateaued progress
with my ankles, and some upcoming family events. But this past
weekend I noticed my anxiety getting markedly worse than it's been.
This upcoming weekend we are going out of town for my
brother-in-law's wedding and I'm really dreading the whole trip. Don't get me wrong, I love my BIL, and my future SIL, and I'm happy
to attend their wedding, it's all the other stuff that's a problem
for me and my medical state these days.
The only long trip I've made in the
past year was when I went to visit my parents in Delaware back in
November. Visiting them is a 3 hour car trip each way, and although
it took a lot out of me, there was nothing expected of me. We didn't
go anywhere...I could wear my sneakers...I could put my feet up when
needed...and I knew that if I didn't feel well, I could always go and
lay down and rest. Bottom line...I didn't have to pretend to be
happy and well if I really wasn't.Most people don't realize how much pretending, or putting on a happy face, goes on when you are a chronic pain sufferer. Even the simple question of, “How are you?” is a difficult one to answer. Are they just making conversation? “Okay, and how are you?” Do they want the short version of the truth? “I've had better days, but things could always be worse.” Do they want the whole truth? “I want to go home and load up on pain meds until I fall asleep and don't have to deal with the pain any longer.” By the way...I usually go with the short version answer so I don't have to freak people out and make them feel uncomfortable. Aren't I nice? :)
This weekend allows me a limited amount
of options. Not only is it a longer car ride, but I can't wear my
sneakers, I can't put my feet up, I have to go about things on my own
(without my husband's help since he's in the wedding party), and I
can't just leave and lay down if the pain gets too much. Not only
will I be bringing all my pain meds along with me for this trip, but
my Xanax for the stress of it too. It's amazing how much more
anxiety I get when I feel like I'm backed in a corner and have no
plan B.
Say prayers for me my friends! I have
a feeling the anxiety is only going to get worse. Hopefully the pain
will be less than the anxiety, although I have a feeling it probably won't :(
So sorry you're going through this. My aunt is a chronic pain sufferer. She had to have something implanted to regulate it. I know it's a miserable way to live. I hope yours starts getting better soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stephanie. I hope your aunt has many more good days than bad!
DeleteYes, you are very nice for staying with the shorter version and not making people uncomfortable. Consideration of others is the mark of a true lady. I'm thinking that at a wedding, 90% of the time you should be able to find a place to sit. I hope so. Wishing you well and good pain meds. :)
ReplyDeleteSending you prayers for strength to get you through the wedding!
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, my husband calls "putting on a happy face" his "mask". He's VERY good at doing that. Sometimes fooling me! I hate being fooled!
Jamie Dement (LadyJai)
Be Positive in Life and Writing
Caring for My Veteran
Sorry you'll be going through this, and will hope it's better then you think it will be. Perhaps you can find a place to sit down and put your feet up. Most churches have other rooms not in use during a wedding. When you get there scout one out and make use of it until the actual activities begin. Likewise wherever the reception will be. Break up the car ride with a couple of stops where you can walk around for 5 minutes at the rest stop. Physical, that helps. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you are still in a lot of pain. Weddings are an ordeal even without the pain. Good luck to you! Hopefully it will be over before you know it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear of your pain and stress being increased, which is the last thing you need. I hope you are able (were able?) to survive with as much comfort as possible. Take care dear. Always thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteTina @ Life is Good
On the Open Road! @ Join us for the 4th Annual Post-Challenge Road Trip!